Journey to Significance: Navigating Roadblocks Chapter 1 (Rewrite): Preparing for the Journey
Milestone: Compassion
Jesse Owens at times used this phrase, “The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourselves, the invisible, the inevitable battles inside of us all, that’s where it’s at.”
The roadblocks within are the most challenging to maneuver.
The struggle is real when you are alone and triggers fear and insecurity when you are with others.
To ignore these STRUGGLES—these roadblocks in your path—will destroy your hopes and dreams, and undermine your goals for the future.
You cannot go forward in life without facing your roadblocks and the struggle to navigate them well.
Each roadblock you face uses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy.
When you overcome one roadblock, you need to rest, renew, and rejoice in celebration. As you celebrate, you renew energy for dealing with the next one in along the route.
Roadblock
A barrier or barricade on a road.
An obstacle is defined as something that blocks one’s way so movement or progress is prevented or made more difficult.
Other words are barrier, impediment, hindrance, complication, and difficulty.
Have you noticed when you come to a roadblock there is usually an alternate route, sometimes for miles till you get back on the road toward your destination.
Roadblocks come in our personal lives and we must navigate wisely to get back on course.
Booker T. Washington wrote in his autobiography, Up from Slavery, “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed.”
__________
Reflection
What are roadblocks you face as you move toward your goal to have a positive impact on your church, your business, or people with whom you live and work?
The first roadblock you must navigator, and perhaps the most difficult to maneuver, is selfishness.
A person who is selfish typically cares only for himself or herself.
The Apostle John provides a personal example of an roadblock he faced in one church in 3 John 1:9–10.
I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up whatever he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers.
John had just written earlier in verse 4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” Then he admonishes believers to walk in truth by doing good, drawing attention to the positive example of Demetrius.
“Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God. Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself” (vv. 11–12).
__________
Reflection
Which one describes you: Diotrephes or Demetrius?
Which attitude do you move toward naturally?
When do you feel stuck between the two?
Selfishness damages relationships, breeds unhealthy relationships and will eventually destroy any connection with healthy people.
The realm of self (selfishness) is illustrated by putting a circle around your feet.
The larger the circle—the more selfish you are—the more you push healthy relationships away. And unhealthy people step into your drama, adding their drama.
The smaller the circle, the deeper your connections with healthy people.
Your responsibility is to keep the circle small, to keep yourself healthy.
The first person you must keep healthy is yourself; lead yourself first.
Overcoming Roadblocks
To minister, lead, to serve people, you MUST decrease the circle of the realm of self and live in the realm of being unselfish.
You DECREASE THE CIRCLE focusing on the needs of others.
SHIFT from being egocentric to being other-centric.
You must come face-to-face with the decision Jesus asks of you: deny self, take up your cross, and follow Him (Matt 16:24).
The cross represents all Jesus has done by His sacrificial death. He died that you might have life.
You must take up your cross. One way to look at it is that your cross represents dying to self. (A man on a cross knows his life is ending.) Denying TO self calls for absolute surrender. Denying self and taking up one’s cross daily is moving from Jesus being resident in one’s life to Jesus being LORD OR King of one’s life. It requires turning from selfish to servant.
The new path is different from the old path you left behind. As you accept the weight of the cross on your shoulders, you let go of the past. Releasing the pull of the flesh (the old man) freeING you to move forward to follow Jesus and take on His character.
Not long ago I loved to go climbing in the Rocky Mountains withs my children. The feel of of the climbing harness around my waist freed me to focus on the climb. Feeling the weight of the cross on my shoulders keeps my focus on denying self and following Jesus.
I grew up ON Russel Heights in the city of Russel, Kentucky. Going to school was a downhill walk, but going home was uphill. Some would say it is not an easy road to walk, but I knew when I got home that dinner was being prepared. In the winter, we would sleigh ride from the top to the bottom of the hill, almost one mile. Yet, we knew if we wanted to ride the sled again, we had to walk to the top of the hill. Riding down was thrilling and fun, but walking up the hill was work. We learned that if we wanted the thrill of the ride, we had to walk to the top of the hill.
If achievement or success in life is like a sleigh ride down a hill as a child, the lesson: you must walk uphill to be successful.
Principles for navigating roadblocks include the following:
In the Old Testament, the Ten Commandments are like red lights. They tell you what not to do.
The Great Commandment in the New Testament is a green light, Pursue it enthusiastically! The Great Commandment INFORMS YOU WHAT YOU MUST DO, “You shall love the Lord your God.” Circle the word “your.” This commandment is very personal. He is your God. This relationship is very personal!
At times, you find it difficult to walk strong in your relationship with God. In those times, you are usually struggling within. It is not the storm on the outside that affects as much as the undercurrent on the inside.
You need to keep your relationship with Jesus close! When you set a priority on this relationship, all other priorities fall into place.
I read this interesting quote in Wikipedia: The Greek philosopher Pittacus says, “Hard it is to be good.”
I believe if Pittacus had read the Law in the Old Testament, he would have determined, “Hard it is to be good.”
Yet, the wisdom found in the Old Testament and the instructions of the New Testament point to the means or the proper route to the beginning of being good—loving God.
The Lord empowers believers to be good through their relationship with Him, thus overcoming the expression, “Hard it is to be good”!
The commandment to love God found in Luke’s Gospel.
And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?”
And he JESUS answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:25-27).
What does this imply? Clearly, it describes going deep in one’s relationship with God.
It points to improving your relationships with others since you are to love your neighbor as yourself.
Loving God improves my relationship with myself. If you cannot get along with yourself, you will find it difficult to get along with others.
First Step: Start with God loving me
Consider what the Scriptures say about God’s love for you.
For God so loved the world … (John 3:16).
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom 5:8).
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:9–11).
Your attitude is a choice. As you accept and apply His love, His instructions transform you. You learn to value people as God values people, which translates into loving one’s neighbor as oneself. People who do not value others have an unhealthy self-concept, THEY inviting a lot of drama into their lives.
Think about the order:
1. Love God.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself; i.e., yourself, then your neighbor.
The key to living out the second commandment is living out the first one.
If you do not understand loving God, you cannot understand loving yourself. If you do not obey loving God, you WILL NOT love your neighbors as yourself. If you miss number one, you will find it easy to skip number two.
If you do not love God, you find it hard to love yourself and so you will have a difficult time loving others.
Diotrephes missed this!
Where do you miss this?
Your relationship with yourself will be reflected in your relationships with others. The farther you wander from loving God, the farther you wander from loving yourself—and your neighbor.
Let me put it this way. Loving others begins with loving God. And loving God begins when we experience His love.
The closer you move to loving God, the closer you move to loving yourself in a healthy way which affects all your interpersonal relationships.
Reflection
Where and when do you struggle to be a loving person? The truth is all people struggle.
In what ways do you struggle with self?
Selfishness?
In what situations are you critical of yourself?
How do these issues relate to your relationship with God?
How do you see God?
How do you believe God sees you?
Which lens are you seeing yourself through?
What do you feel about this statement: “Seek to understand before being understood”?
Think about this statement: “Everyone has a different map of the world.”
How does this statement give you a different perspective of people?
Talk to the Lord about areas that cause you to be self-centered.
Love God. Pursue God.
Spend time alone with God.
The second part of the Great Commandment concerning loving one’s neighbor as oneself is possible because you have been with God.
To focus on loving others, focus on how much God loves you. As you love God, you learn to accept who you are—who God made you to be. Then you can truly know yourself as God sees you—His creation, His handiwork.
Accepting who you are helps you to be real—to be ourself—not somebody else.
It helps you to quit focusing on what you are not, or what others expect you to be.
Find the one thing that makes you unique. When God made you, He made an original.
Be the person God made you to be. Then you can be authentic. When you are real, people take notice.
Find who you are in Christ.
Accepting who you are in Christ will help you to get past selfishness.
The world we live the word soul has been replaced with self.
When you think less about yourself, you discover more about others.
It is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking less about yourself.
The ultimate expression of how deeply you love God is reflected in your interactions with other people.
Your relationship with God is reflected in your relationships with people.
Your relationship with God HAS AN EFFECT ON how you look at people. Your attitude toward people affects your witness.
Consider this statement Jesus made, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).
As you love God, you begin to see yourself as God sees you. You allow Him to build character (fruit) in you that aligns with His Word, thus creating a godly influence IN YOUR LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS.
The fruit of the Spirit can be seen in the synonyms for unselfish: benevolent, caring, kind, generous, selfless, loving, and considerate.
You approach significance in your role as a leader as you grow in His love, His grace, His Word, and Christlike character.
Leviticus 19:18 states, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” If you are selfish, you male no room for others. A selfish person’s conversation is about himself or herself.
The most used words in that person’s vocabulary is me, my, mine, and I.
A selfish person thinks less of others.
Selfless people think of themselves, yet they think of others more.
A selfless person does not become stuck on himself or herself and fall victim to the Diotrephes syndrome in which you put yourself first.
For Diotrephes His motive was to get attention, so he denied those in authority and talked negatively about other leaders. He was the one who did not love his neighbor. Instead, he refused to welcome the brothers.
Or maybe he did love his neighbor as himself. It seems he did not get along with himself. He is an example of how the circle of selfishness literally pushes people away.
E. W. Kenyon states in What Happened from the Cross to the Throne that the dream of the Father was that love should dominate and rule every one of us.
Selfishness has given birth to all our sorrows, heartaches and tears. It has caused all the wars and other atrocities in which people have taken part. The world is not yet acquainted with the new kind of love—agape love. Few have seen it in practice, and still fewer enjoy its fullness. As believers, our conduct reveals the nature of the Father and His agape love.
Satan’s nature is selfishness. God so loved that He gave. Satan was so selfish he sought to rob God and the human race of everything worthwhile. Selfishness is a robber. It reigned without a rival through the ages. Now a mighty new force has broken through. That mighty force is love. It comes from God and is unveiled in Christ. It is becoming operative in us.
This quote had such an impact on my life when I first read it. “Selfishness is a robber.” Think about it. It robs you of relationships that WILL encourage you or admonish you.
These relationships keep you on track in your spiritual life.
Selfishness keeps you from significance.
This is why Scripture encourages you to move past selfishness.
Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Phil 2:2–4).
“Where does selfishness, or “selfish ambition” show up in your life?”
“Are you looking at the “interests of others?””
Selfishness keeps us self-centered and blurs our vision of others.
The Cure is Simple: Come to Jesus. Deny self. Carry your cross. Follow Him.
One way to see if you are denying yourself is to examine how you listen.
As you deny yourself, you become a better listener.
That is, you truly listen by paying attention to what others are really saying.
James 1:19 reminds you to “be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
Listening is developed through curiosity, which explores deep areas. Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Brenda Euland states, “Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” Think of a time you added value to someone just by listening.
Stephen Covey comments, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Most people in their daily conversations are hearing words, but not listening. They are focused on what they would like to say next, or how they have had a similar experience. When you are not focused on the other person through actively listening, you are no longer adding value or encouragement. As Forbes states, “The art of conversation lies in listening.”
__________
Reflection
Do you make decisions based on how they benefit you or how they benefit others? Explain.
How much would you like someone just to listen to you?
How often do you focus on listening to others?
Do you work harder at building your image or serving others?
REMEMBER this book is about significance, adding value to others…
Your love for the Lord is observed in your relationships with others!
Milestone: Compassion
Jesse Owens at times used this phrase, “The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourselves, the invisible, the inevitable battles inside of us all, that’s where it’s at.”
The roadblocks within are the most challenging to maneuver.
The struggle is real when you are alone and triggers fear and insecurity when you are with others.
To ignore these STRUGGLES—these roadblocks in your path—will destroy your hopes and dreams, and undermine your goals for the future.
You cannot go forward in life without facing your roadblocks and the struggle to navigate them well.
Each roadblock you face uses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energy.
When you overcome one roadblock, you need to rest, renew, and rejoice in celebration. As you celebrate, you renew energy for dealing with the next one in along the route.
Roadblock
A barrier or barricade on a road.
An obstacle is defined as something that blocks one’s way so movement or progress is prevented or made more difficult.
Other words are barrier, impediment, hindrance, complication, and difficulty.
Have you noticed when you come to a roadblock there is usually an alternate route, sometimes for miles till you get back on the road toward your destination.
Roadblocks come in our personal lives and we must navigate wisely to get back on course.
Booker T. Washington wrote in his autobiography, Up from Slavery, “I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed.”
__________
Reflection
What are roadblocks you face as you move toward your goal to have a positive impact on your church, your business, or people with whom you live and work?
The first roadblock you must navigator, and perhaps the most difficult to maneuver, is selfishness.
A person who is selfish typically cares only for himself or herself.
The Apostle John provides a personal example of an roadblock he faced in one church in 3 John 1:9–10.
I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up whatever he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers.
John had just written earlier in verse 4, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” Then he admonishes believers to walk in truth by doing good, drawing attention to the positive example of Demetrius.
“Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God. Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself” (vv. 11–12).
__________
Reflection
Which one describes you: Diotrephes or Demetrius?
Which attitude do you move toward naturally?
When do you feel stuck between the two?
Selfishness damages relationships, breeds unhealthy relationships and will eventually destroy any connection with healthy people.
The realm of self (selfishness) is illustrated by putting a circle around your feet.
The larger the circle—the more selfish you are—the more you push healthy relationships away. And unhealthy people step into your drama, adding their drama.
The smaller the circle, the deeper your connections with healthy people.
Your responsibility is to keep the circle small, to keep yourself healthy.
The first person you must keep healthy is yourself; lead yourself first.
Overcoming Roadblocks
To minister, lead, to serve people, you MUST decrease the circle of the realm of self and live in the realm of being unselfish.
You DECREASE THE CIRCLE focusing on the needs of others.
SHIFT from being egocentric to being other-centric.
You must come face-to-face with the decision Jesus asks of you: deny self, take up your cross, and follow Him (Matt 16:24).
The cross represents all Jesus has done by His sacrificial death. He died that you might have life.
You must take up your cross. One way to look at it is that your cross represents dying to self. (A man on a cross knows his life is ending.) Denying TO self calls for absolute surrender. Denying self and taking up one’s cross daily is moving from Jesus being resident in one’s life to Jesus being LORD OR King of one’s life. It requires turning from selfish to servant.
The new path is different from the old path you left behind. As you accept the weight of the cross on your shoulders, you let go of the past. Releasing the pull of the flesh (the old man) freeING you to move forward to follow Jesus and take on His character.
Not long ago I loved to go climbing in the Rocky Mountains withs my children. The feel of of the climbing harness around my waist freed me to focus on the climb. Feeling the weight of the cross on my shoulders keeps my focus on denying self and following Jesus.
I grew up ON Russel Heights in the city of Russel, Kentucky. Going to school was a downhill walk, but going home was uphill. Some would say it is not an easy road to walk, but I knew when I got home that dinner was being prepared. In the winter, we would sleigh ride from the top to the bottom of the hill, almost one mile. Yet, we knew if we wanted to ride the sled again, we had to walk to the top of the hill. Riding down was thrilling and fun, but walking up the hill was work. We learned that if we wanted the thrill of the ride, we had to walk to the top of the hill.
If achievement or success in life is like a sleigh ride down a hill as a child, the lesson: you must walk uphill to be successful.
Principles for navigating roadblocks include the following:
- The road to success is uphill.
- THE MILESTONE IS AT THE TOP OF THE HILL
In the Old Testament, the Ten Commandments are like red lights. They tell you what not to do.
The Great Commandment in the New Testament is a green light, Pursue it enthusiastically! The Great Commandment INFORMS YOU WHAT YOU MUST DO, “You shall love the Lord your God.” Circle the word “your.” This commandment is very personal. He is your God. This relationship is very personal!
At times, you find it difficult to walk strong in your relationship with God. In those times, you are usually struggling within. It is not the storm on the outside that affects as much as the undercurrent on the inside.
You need to keep your relationship with Jesus close! When you set a priority on this relationship, all other priorities fall into place.
I read this interesting quote in Wikipedia: The Greek philosopher Pittacus says, “Hard it is to be good.”
I believe if Pittacus had read the Law in the Old Testament, he would have determined, “Hard it is to be good.”
Yet, the wisdom found in the Old Testament and the instructions of the New Testament point to the means or the proper route to the beginning of being good—loving God.
The Lord empowers believers to be good through their relationship with Him, thus overcoming the expression, “Hard it is to be good”!
The commandment to love God found in Luke’s Gospel.
And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?”
And he JESUS answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:25-27).
What does this imply? Clearly, it describes going deep in one’s relationship with God.
It points to improving your relationships with others since you are to love your neighbor as yourself.
Loving God improves my relationship with myself. If you cannot get along with yourself, you will find it difficult to get along with others.
First Step: Start with God loving me
Consider what the Scriptures say about God’s love for you.
For God so loved the world … (John 3:16).
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom 5:8).
In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another (1 John 4:9–11).
Your attitude is a choice. As you accept and apply His love, His instructions transform you. You learn to value people as God values people, which translates into loving one’s neighbor as oneself. People who do not value others have an unhealthy self-concept, THEY inviting a lot of drama into their lives.
Think about the order:
1. Love God.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself; i.e., yourself, then your neighbor.
The key to living out the second commandment is living out the first one.
If you do not understand loving God, you cannot understand loving yourself. If you do not obey loving God, you WILL NOT love your neighbors as yourself. If you miss number one, you will find it easy to skip number two.
If you do not love God, you find it hard to love yourself and so you will have a difficult time loving others.
Diotrephes missed this!
Where do you miss this?
Your relationship with yourself will be reflected in your relationships with others. The farther you wander from loving God, the farther you wander from loving yourself—and your neighbor.
Let me put it this way. Loving others begins with loving God. And loving God begins when we experience His love.
The closer you move to loving God, the closer you move to loving yourself in a healthy way which affects all your interpersonal relationships.
Reflection
Where and when do you struggle to be a loving person? The truth is all people struggle.
In what ways do you struggle with self?
Selfishness?
In what situations are you critical of yourself?
How do these issues relate to your relationship with God?
How do you see God?
How do you believe God sees you?
Which lens are you seeing yourself through?
What do you feel about this statement: “Seek to understand before being understood”?
Think about this statement: “Everyone has a different map of the world.”
How does this statement give you a different perspective of people?
Talk to the Lord about areas that cause you to be self-centered.
Love God. Pursue God.
Spend time alone with God.
The second part of the Great Commandment concerning loving one’s neighbor as oneself is possible because you have been with God.
To focus on loving others, focus on how much God loves you. As you love God, you learn to accept who you are—who God made you to be. Then you can truly know yourself as God sees you—His creation, His handiwork.
Accepting who you are helps you to be real—to be ourself—not somebody else.
It helps you to quit focusing on what you are not, or what others expect you to be.
Find the one thing that makes you unique. When God made you, He made an original.
Be the person God made you to be. Then you can be authentic. When you are real, people take notice.
Find who you are in Christ.
Accepting who you are in Christ will help you to get past selfishness.
The world we live the word soul has been replaced with self.
When you think less about yourself, you discover more about others.
It is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking less about yourself.
The ultimate expression of how deeply you love God is reflected in your interactions with other people.
Your relationship with God is reflected in your relationships with people.
Your relationship with God HAS AN EFFECT ON how you look at people. Your attitude toward people affects your witness.
Consider this statement Jesus made, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).
As you love God, you begin to see yourself as God sees you. You allow Him to build character (fruit) in you that aligns with His Word, thus creating a godly influence IN YOUR LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS.
The fruit of the Spirit can be seen in the synonyms for unselfish: benevolent, caring, kind, generous, selfless, loving, and considerate.
You approach significance in your role as a leader as you grow in His love, His grace, His Word, and Christlike character.
Leviticus 19:18 states, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” If you are selfish, you male no room for others. A selfish person’s conversation is about himself or herself.
The most used words in that person’s vocabulary is me, my, mine, and I.
A selfish person thinks less of others.
Selfless people think of themselves, yet they think of others more.
A selfless person does not become stuck on himself or herself and fall victim to the Diotrephes syndrome in which you put yourself first.
For Diotrephes His motive was to get attention, so he denied those in authority and talked negatively about other leaders. He was the one who did not love his neighbor. Instead, he refused to welcome the brothers.
Or maybe he did love his neighbor as himself. It seems he did not get along with himself. He is an example of how the circle of selfishness literally pushes people away.
E. W. Kenyon states in What Happened from the Cross to the Throne that the dream of the Father was that love should dominate and rule every one of us.
Selfishness has given birth to all our sorrows, heartaches and tears. It has caused all the wars and other atrocities in which people have taken part. The world is not yet acquainted with the new kind of love—agape love. Few have seen it in practice, and still fewer enjoy its fullness. As believers, our conduct reveals the nature of the Father and His agape love.
Satan’s nature is selfishness. God so loved that He gave. Satan was so selfish he sought to rob God and the human race of everything worthwhile. Selfishness is a robber. It reigned without a rival through the ages. Now a mighty new force has broken through. That mighty force is love. It comes from God and is unveiled in Christ. It is becoming operative in us.
This quote had such an impact on my life when I first read it. “Selfishness is a robber.” Think about it. It robs you of relationships that WILL encourage you or admonish you.
These relationships keep you on track in your spiritual life.
Selfishness keeps you from significance.
This is why Scripture encourages you to move past selfishness.
Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Phil 2:2–4).
“Where does selfishness, or “selfish ambition” show up in your life?”
“Are you looking at the “interests of others?””
Selfishness keeps us self-centered and blurs our vision of others.
The Cure is Simple: Come to Jesus. Deny self. Carry your cross. Follow Him.
One way to see if you are denying yourself is to examine how you listen.
As you deny yourself, you become a better listener.
That is, you truly listen by paying attention to what others are really saying.
James 1:19 reminds you to “be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”
Listening is developed through curiosity, which explores deep areas. Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Brenda Euland states, “Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” Think of a time you added value to someone just by listening.
Stephen Covey comments, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Most people in their daily conversations are hearing words, but not listening. They are focused on what they would like to say next, or how they have had a similar experience. When you are not focused on the other person through actively listening, you are no longer adding value or encouragement. As Forbes states, “The art of conversation lies in listening.”
__________
Reflection
Do you make decisions based on how they benefit you or how they benefit others? Explain.
How much would you like someone just to listen to you?
How often do you focus on listening to others?
Do you work harder at building your image or serving others?
REMEMBER this book is about significance, adding value to others…
Your love for the Lord is observed in your relationships with others!